i have spoken about chastity before but Goddess suggested i write more about the subject. i thought i would try and explain what it is and what it means. i suspect that much of what i say will not strike a chord with those who just don’t or perhaps don’t want to understand what a D/s relationship is all about.
The D/s relationship is really at the heart of what chastity is. i am in a D/s relationship of a sort. It is an online relationship so it will never be a truly real relationship but it is about as good as you are going to find outside of a true physical relationship and i am very lucky. In my relationship there is as much trust as you can have and certainly on my part a huge amount of respect. i am not stupid and know that if i didn’t tribute handsomely there would be no relationship – however, and this point is very important… you know very quickly whether the other person is truly dominant and is enjoying the play and scenarios as much as you are. i know a Domme will tell you they can smell fakes and players a mile off, well so can most submissives. So the point is that i trust Goddess implicitly am prepared to explore our mutual fetishes and likes.
To get back to chastity being at the heart of a true D/s relationship and what it means for a moment. Of course you can buy a chastity device, lock it shut and do something with the key and maybe even pay for a key holding service. That may be exhilarating and you will not find me knocking that. The reason i wont be doing that is because i have done that very thing myself. But.. it was somehow empty and meant i couldn’t get hard at some erotic moment and that in itself – the denial – though erotic is not like giving up total control to another person.
The concept and idea of giving up control over your ability to ejaculate is worth thinking about for a moment. i am sure there are some Dommes who would rather that control were not given up and ultimately what lies behind the power of the relationship is that transfer of economic resources from the slave to the Domme and the driving force for that is a very real sexual addiction issue. So it is almost in the interest of the Domme to enable the slave/submissive to wank off and be excited and in doing so enhance and satisfy the need that the addiction creates.
So in giving that up what is achieved? For me it is a demonstration of the length i will go to to show my devotion, that i want to give up having an erection to satisfy the desires of my Goddess… of course that requires Her to really want it and in my case i know that She does…it really excites Her to know that she has that power and of course i am more than happy to give it up.
To do so makes me feel even more submissive and mentally has taken our relationship to a new level – it is a very real physical component of the relationship and it makes me more attentive and loving and of course more controlled.